Parenting, brothering, loving
by Ur fan
Summary: Edward makes up for his misbehaviour by voluntering as a fireman. Whit al the admiration he forgets about his origonal quest but that all changes whit a fire and a girl... Rating only to make sure and since I hate the whole disclaim thing so I will say this only once: The only thing that's mine in this story is the plot. Please have respect for it. It's a part of me I trust to you.
1. intro

**Parenting, brothering…loving**

Edward Cullen regrets his period of rebellion and wants to make up by saving lives. He volunteers as a fireman and to his relieve he gets enough chances to be a help for the humans. He enjoys being an hero and feels proud. But then something happens what makes him realize what an ego he has got by thinking of himself being an hero by doing this, he truly risked his life for others but after a few times he had unconsciously changed his motives. He wasn't saving humans anymore to be a help for the humans like Carlisle whit him being a doctor. He began to enjoy being an hero to much. But whit this girl all of that would change…

**Hey! Ehm I really hope you guys will enjoy the story. Sorry if my spelling is awefull, I don't really speak English on a regular base so that's why I don't really write well in English either. Well I see how quick I can post. I really only have some scenes completely done but there are those big holes between them and I don't want you guys to miss anything because I decide to go quick trough a lot of time because I'm not sure of what I want to do with it yet. Hope you'll understand**


	2. Meet Edward

**1)meet Edward**

Epov  
I wander through the streets of Forks, the city we live now. I smile to a family walking by.  
"Look mum it's him!" The eldest daughter says in an exited voice. Everyone over here knows me, and even better, everyone likes me.  
"Mister Edward!" The girl yells at me. I turn around to see her running towards me. I open my arms to hug the little fellow. It was little Emma Mallorey, one of my bigger fans. All girls in town see me as a prince in shining armor and all boys see me as a real superhero.  
I'll admit I like that. I'm a role model to the children and their parents and big brothers and sisters look at me whit awe instead of gossiping about me being a criminal or something. I really prefer this life above my old life.  
Yes I knew another life. Tree others actually.  
The first I can hardly remember, my human life. I was the son of a lawyer and my both parents died from the Spanish influenza, and I would've followed if Carlisle hadn't decided to save me. Whit that my second life begun. My life as a vampire.  
-scared? Don't be I won't bite you. Hahaha-  
I should correct myself thought, my life as a vegetarian vampire began. At first I agreed. But, being forever 17 I suppose, I had my period of rebellion and went on a hunt for human blood, my third life.  
-know what you are thinking, really I do, you think 'Don't kill that sweet girl you're holding!' And I promise I won't-  
After then years of killing monsters and monsters only I started to feel guilty about the lifes I had token. Monsters or not, they still where human beings. And so I got to my new life that I'm enjoying now. I decided to make up for my sins and only save lifes every time we move I volunteer as a fireman and save as much lifes as I can.  
I'll admit I enjoy the job, it's the closest thing I've gotten to an adrenaline kick in my entire existence. So yes it's exiting. And the fact everyone thinks nothing but nice things about me helps definitely to make me feel less a monster. So where was I? Oh, yes, I'm holding little Emma.  
"Hello little one. Enjoying being a big sister?" I ask.  
"Yes!" the 6 year old girl sais proud. You see, the family Mallorey recently got a new daughter. Lauren, she's a sweet little thing, but all baby's are sweet aren't they? Alright I sound like a girl but boys do have a soft spot for those little things too, especially since they seem to be born knowing how to look irresistible.  
I look up to the baby girl that is in the stroller, she smiles this sweet smile that would make every girl say 'OH so cute!' But I, being a man, just smile warmly to the two months old baby.  
"Hello there Lauren. You and you sister look more like a lady every time we meet," I said. Emma looks at me with big eyes and a faint blush. I take a deep breath and am proud of myself noticing that I don't need to suppress any urge to bite. Who would be able to do that to an 6 year old anyway?  
I greet mr and mrs Mallorey and head home to pick up my stuff to go to work. I really enjoy volunteering. I remember that I was a little uncomfortable in the beginning, whit the fire –which is the only thing we vampires fear- and al those humans I had to be close to. But after a few rescues I started to like it. I'm the hero of the town even thought I'm whit the fire brigade of Port Angeles. Forks hasn't one of his own since it's so little so I'm one of Forks hero's those rare times something serious happens.  
It was like that every time we moved. I was even so lucky to be there with 9/11. What happened that day was awful, and I will never forget about it, there were a lot of my colleges who died that day, but I was part of an historical moment. Not one of Americas' most favorite chapter in history books but jet I was part of it. I saved quiet a lot people that day, since I made sure that those who I couldn't take whit me without becoming suspicious would be noticed by other collegues.  
"Mom, dad I'm home!" I call, but nobody answered. I find a note on the fridge.  
_'Sweethy__  
__We went hunting, lots of fun at work.__  
__Be careful and come home quick.__  
__Lots of love Esme'__  
_I smile at my mother's note. She is so proud of me which is another reason why I like this job. My parents are proud on me and they don't worry anymore.  
I sigh when I think of the reason of their worry. Just because I haven't found my mate yet.  
I'll admit somehow this job is also just another way to make sure I won't get to bored. Like most of my hobby's are. I shake the thought of and head for work after writing _'will do'_ under Esme's message.  
-a few hours later-  
"Bored!" I sigh. Tonight there was no emergency, nobody needed us tonight, not even an old woman who's cat was stuck in a tree.  
"I, know Ed. But we should be happy thought. We are bored because nobody got hurt tonight, nobody has lost his house, love or child. Let's think about it that way."  
I nod knowing that Jim is right.  
"Hé, Edward, Jim! Come and play with us!" Nick says. The other guys are kicking a tennis ball towards each other.  
"You guys really want me to kick you're asses so badly?" I ask whit a wide grin. At work I can just talk whit my colleagues without problems. It is difficult to avoid conversation when you are a team. Another reason to like this job, I get to have some friends.  
"Ow, we are so scared! Like you would get any points, you can't even score a girl!" Jordan teased.  
"Oh, they all so want me! I just don't want them," I told him. The others laugh and nod knowing it is true.  
"Just to be sure, you're not gay are you? I mean you turn every girl down, no matter how hot they are," Mark wonders. I laugh. "I'm all hetro, I just haven't found the one jet," I admit.  
"Well, why don't you get some practice so you know what to do when you meet her?" He presses.  
"I just don't want to hurt any girl's feelings. I refuse to begin a relationship whit any girl unless I believe it can be forever," I say, almost feeling offended that he thinks that way about me. Everyone looks at me whit awe.  
"Wow, dude. Do you know that if any chick would hear that she would say that that's all romantic and stuff? Girls dream about such a guy!" Jim, my best friend here, says.  
"Yeah, could be." I shrug. I forget sometimes things change. What I just said would've been not such a surprise to my friends when I was human. But now it is.  
We don't get a chance to start the game. The alarm bell rings and it's time to go on another rescue mission.  
"Quick! An emergency in Forks!" Forks? Home?  
I get worried I know my family will be alright, but I know a lot of people there, what if it's in Emma's house? Or whit the Webbers? They are such nice people and also just got an daughter, Angela is six months. There were a lot of young children and I knew most of them personally.  
I sit in the back and hear our chef tell the driver where to go. I know the address.  
It's at Swans.

**Hello folks. Hope you don't mind the cliff hanger. How do you think about Edward now? Don't worry next chapter everything will be clear. Or not?**


	3. life changing

**2)Life changing**

It can't become worse! The Swans got a baby girl last month, I've seen her a few times and it's a pretty and surprisingly shy girl. She has also something mysterious around her and I can't figure out what it is. I hope so much she isn't at home right now.  
I wonder if I should make sure my colleagues know how many people they will be looking for and that one of them is a one month old baby.  
I have to admit if Isabella, also known as Bella, is right now in a burning house the chances for her to survive are quiet small. Baby's are extremely fragile and if there's a fire in her house the smoke alone will be enough to kill her. I swallow.  
"What's up?" Jim asks, giving me the chance to give my friends the important information without getting suspicious.  
"Forks is where I live and there are so many little children, I just worry."  
"You think you could tell us how many people should be in the house?" Mark asks, he is in his fireman-mode, he leaves no space for emotions in this kind of moments, he says it gets otherwise too difficult to make quick and good decisions when he's on a mission. That makes him a good leader for us and after the chef we'll always listen to him.  
I nod.  
"Will? Where are we exactly going?" He asks our chef.  
"Forks, Fate street 26 why?" He asks. I act as if I stiffen out of shock.  
"Edward?" Jorden asks whit concern.  
"The Swans, it's at the house of the chief of police, he has a wife… and a daughter." Everyone looks at me and they are surprised by the horrified look on my face. It's just the very idea of someone so young dying already and the image of how she will look like if… I shudder from the image.  
"A girl you like?" Jim teases, trying to lighten the mood.  
"She's only one month old." I add. Jim immediately regrets his words.  
"No need to be sorry, you didn't know and you meant it well." I whisper now truly horrified by the idea of that girl getting hurt in any way.  
I suppose it is because of some fatherly instincts or so.  
At that moment we arrive at the chiefs house and I have to assist whit the fire hose. I see trough the thoughts of my friends what's going on. Jim finds a women, Renee Swan, on the staircase, from the way she lays I can tell she was heading upstairs for some reason and tripped. The stair is blocked by a wall of fire but lucky for Renee she is on the good side of it, on our side. Others find what is left from the chiefs body in the kitchen, that's probably where the fire started. Only when I hear Renee mutter her daughter's name I realize I hear a baby crying. Isabella is still alive and nobody knows. I give the fire hose to someone else and run inside, I hear some people scream 'it's not save to go there. I know they dodn't want to risk several men to cross the dangerous obstacle, the fire wall, not even to check for a baby that might be still alive.  
But I know I'll be fast enough and right now I'm the only one who can save her.  
There are no thoughts of being a hero right now, only the wish to save this innocent baby.  
I face the fire and don't even take a second to think my actions trough. I just launch myself to the top of the stairs and go to the children's room where the noise comes from.  
I open the door and grasp the baby out her bed, I hear her heart beating quicker than it should in normal condition, of course, she must be so frightened.  
I open the window and see a tree, I can easily get there, considering the fact that every human would be full of adrenaline right now, there shouldn't be suspicion.  
I jump and grab a strong branch whit my one hand while I make sure the baby is safe in my arm.  
After a few seconds I let myself drop and examine the little angel in my arms more careful.  
She looks startled and takes in quick breaths thankfully breathing the cleaner air. I have to get her to a place far from here before I can be sure the air is safe for her thought. I walk quickly to my colleagues who look at me. First they are either furious or relieved and when they see the baby in my arms they are all absorbed by her. Like I said, boys also have a soft spot for these little fellows.  
"That's her?" Jim asks when he comes closer.  
I nod "We need to get her out of here. Where is her mother?" Jim frowns and thought I already know what's wrong from the moment he thinks of her I still need to hear him say the words.  
"She won't survive this I think. Your father is whit her in the ambulance. Go ahead." He mumbles dejected.  
I nod and go to the ambulance. I knock on the door and go in without waiting for an answer.  
"Dad?" I say, Carlisle looks up from the woman whit worry and anger in his eyes.  
"Don't ever do…" then he sees the baby, the reason for my reckless behavior. And all his anger about me doing something that might have had the potential to kill me was gone.  
"Renee, Bella is here," He whispers. Renee looks weak but her face lit up when she sees her only daughter, the only reason she has to fight.  
"Bella?" Then she sees me. "Edward... Thank you so much for saving my girl… I almost don't dare to ask, but…" I know what she wants to ask and decide to help her.  
"You can ask me later mrs Swan, now you need to rest, where should I bring Bella for now?" I ask innocently. I know she wants me to take care of her. And I really don't mind. I don't think I would trust anyone else whit Bella, apart from her mother of course.  
"I was thinking if you might be willing…" I nod.  
"Of course mrs. I'll do what I can till you are better." I smile and she smiles but Charlisle seems to be unsure about this. Why?


	4. an angel

3)An angel

Edward:

Carlisle isn't going to tell me anything through his thoughts or by saying it out loud.  
So I just take my cell phone.  
"I'll make sure everything at home will be ready for her", I tell Renee with a smile. She nods without looking away from her child as if she is afraid this will be the last time she sees her.  
"You look alright", I assure her. "You'll get better." Honestly she didn't look alright at all, but I believed she would make it. She wasn't to long in the fire. If they come out alive, they mostly stay alive.  
She smiles only, I know she hasn't even really heard me. She still keeps her eyes locked on her daughter. I look down on the little girl in my arms and realize that she is not just a girl.  
When I look at her big, innocent, chocolate eyes, still wet of tears, looking into my golden eyes, I'm amazed with this little _angel_.  
Somehow I feel like she knows I'm not human.  
Babies listen to their instincts more than adults do.  
She isn't afraid of me. Other babies are okay with me because their parents are always close. In this early stage of their life they know only one thing and that is that their parents are their protection.  
But even thought I am holding her instead of her mother, and my face isn't hidden behind my helmet any more–Don't ask me when I took it off, because I don't know–so she can clearly see I'm inhuman and yet she doesn't cry or do anything that makes me feel like she might not like that I'm holding her.  
"You'll get a lot of attention the next few weeks. Everyone at home is going to be crazy about you. But don't be afraid, I'll protect you till your mommy gets better." I say in that ridiculous voice most humans (yeah males as well) use when they talk to a baby.  
Right now I can't think of it as ridiculous. Suddenly my phone vibrates. Only then I realize what I wanted to do in the first place.  
I check the screen to see who's calling.  
"Alice?" I say with a sigh, knowing this is probably the only chance I'll get to speak the next five minutes.  
"Edward! We're all so concerned about you! What the hell were you thinking?" she says.  
I pass an apologetic smile to Carlisle and Renee and then head outside, since Renee isn't supposed to hear anything about having visions and other supernatural things that I might mention during the coming conversation.  
I walk to Carlisle's car. He'd told me through his thoughts that he'd drive to the hospital with the ambulance and he'll probably 'walk' home, so it's okay for me to use it.  
"Ed! What's up?" asks Jim.  
"Bella's gonna live with my family for a while. I'm going to bring her home." I explain to him, pressing my cellphone against my shoulder so Alice doesn't hear me, before I get in the car.  
"Sorry Al you where saying?" I ask , putting her on speaker and placing my phone in the hand-free set. Driving a car, holding a baby and a cell phone at the same time is a little too much of multitasking for a Vampire too.  
"I asked you what you were thinking by almost giving me a heart attack? When I saw you going in the house I almost went crazy even thought I knew you'd be okay!"  
I smile. It's nice to know my family cares about me so much. "I know. There was a baby involved, I couldn't let her die!" I defend myself  
"Yes you're right. But don't do that ever again."  
"I won't I promise."  
"Oh and by the way, everything will be ready for the princess. We've already got a crib and clothes and lots of other baby stuff." Alice hangs up with a squeal before I can scold her that Bella isn't a doll.  
I shake my head and look at Bella once more. The little angel. It makes me almost sad that I'll have to give her back to her mother in a few weeks. She falls asleep in my arms and mumbles some things in her own baby language.  
So sweet… sweet enough to eat…

Carlisle POV:  
I sigh as I watch Edward leave the ambulance.  
I wait till he get's in my car and then turn to face Renee Swan "Why didn't you tell him?" I ask.  
"I could ask you the same. I have the feeling Bella likes your son and I want her to be with someone she likes. I didn't want to scare him with things he doesn't have to worry about."  
I frown. "This is about the next 20 years of his life!" I shout and then immediately regret what I said.  
She only wants a warm and good home for her daughter. Who was I to tell her what was wrong? Was it even wrong?  
"Sorry." I mutter.  
"No I'm sorry, it was selfish."  
I shake my head. "You were thinking about your daughters happiness. How is that selfish?" I ask. "It's just… he thinks he'll have to play daddy for a few weeks, a few months in the worst case. He doesn't realize it'll be much longer…" My voice trails off.  
"Tell him when you get home. Let him be happy with it for now." I nod. Edward seems indeed to be happy whit his task as a guardian for Bella. Even more than whit his job. I hope it'll stay that way…


	5. Daddy time

**4)Daddy time!**

**A.N.: Hello! How are u guys doing? So the questions on which you'll know the answer now:  
1)What's wrong whit Renee?  
2)And WTF did Edward mean whit 'Sweet enough to eat'?**

Edward POV**  
**I keep taking deep breaths. She smells good. In both ways. But lucky for her she is too small and adorable to appeal me too much in the wrong way. If she was older I might have more difficulties. But she isn't so I can control myself.  
In my head I start calculating. Just say Renee will recover in 2 weeks, she will have to rebuild her house, that might take a while. Building up everything and all the paper mess, it can take months.  
I smile at that. I really like the idea of taking care for Bella. It feels like it can never be long enough. It's not so I can be a hero, like my job is lately…  
Oh, God! I've become such an… well by lack of an better word, asshole. Where is the whole 'make up for my sins' idea? I guess I lost that a long while ago.  
My motives are completely wrong now. But with Bella there is not going to be selfishness. It'll be all about her and I'll do anything to help her mother to get her life on the road again as soon as possible so she can take her daughter back home. I would love to keep Bella with me for as long as possible but that's not right. She belongs whit her mother and nowhere else. I look down to her. She is so beautiful, harmless and pure.  
"Mio Bella angel," I whisper smiling at my nickname for her. It suits her. She is a beautiful angel… but not mine, sad enough. I already feel protective about her though. As if she's one of my own…  
I shake my head. One day she'll become my age, she will be more likely trying to date me–like all girls at school–when that day comes than to call me daddy.  
She will never see me as her daddy altogether, since she will forget me soon. A few weeks, a month at the most… that's all time I have to play her dad and I will do it as good as I can.  
At that point I arrived at my house. I wonder if I should wake her or let her sleep. I decide to let her sleep. She has been through enough today. Let her have some rest.  
I get out of my car, not bothering to drive it to the garage and the next moment I'm in the house without admiring my beautiful home and take a deep breath to welcome myself before I head inside to let my family do the same like usually after work.  
(It sounds strange but I really love to admire my house and take a deep breath and think a 'welcome home' to myself before actually getting inside.)  
"Aaaaaw! OMG she is so adorable!" I hear Alice voice ringing like a bell and turn my body away from her, so she can't see the baby in my arms, giving her a glare.  
"Shh, Alice. She's sleeping." Alice shudders.  
"She'll wake up in a sec anyhow." I roll my eyes at her. In the meantime Rose and Esmé join us and look both fascinated at the little miracle in my arms. I look up. Wondering who should be holding her first. Emmett and Jazz come to stand whit us and also greet their new sis.  
Emmett immediately likes this little girl and thinks of what kind of games he can play whit such a small child whit out upsetting his wife.  
Jasper likes the simplicity of Bella's emotions. He never experienced a baby's emotions closely before and he'll love to experience the development of a humans emotions now. He knows Carlisle –who won't ever let a chance to learn pass by–will want to discover how Bella's mind and body develops and he finds himself looking forward to be together with me a part of this investigation. Only now I realize nobody here knows Bella is here only for a short while. I want to tell my siblings and my mother that they don't need to plan too far ahead but at that moment we all hear an adorable yawn. I look down to Bella she rubs the sleep out her little eyes whit her little fists… (I know I sound like a softy. But strange enough, I don't care!)  
She looks up at her surroundings and when she sees all those strange people staring at her she tries to hide in my arms. She isn't used to a lot of people, that's for sure.  
"Hush sweetheart," I say in a gentle voice, gently bouncing her when she starts making noises which sounds dangerously close to crying. She looks again at me with that strange look on her face. As if she has accepted me as her guardian already.  
"It's okay, they adore you Bella. They are your new family for a while…" Here I get cut off by Rosalie.  
"What?" Her voice isn't angry, but disappointed. She really hoped to keep Bella forever. I understand how she feels, but she needs to know why Bella will leave again.  
"Bella is only here as long as her mother needs to recover from the fire and rebuild her life."  
Rosalie frowns at that.  
"Alice?" I'm happy Rose asks it. I don't think I would've been brave enough to ask Alice to see how long 'a while' actually means myself.  
"Give me a sec Rose," Alice says before closing her eyes and I watch the vision whit her. Will they be mad if they discover Bella will leave even sooner because of me?  
In Alice's vision I see our family as it was on the family picture on Carlisle's desk, with one little difference. I'm holding Bella in my arms. She looks exactly like she looks now.  
Alice goes day by day further away in the future. Slowly Bella changes. She grows and her hair gets longer. By the time she is two months she pushed herself a little bit up to have a better look. A very curious little fellow she is. I still see her grow and she begins to move her little body in all angles I'd allow her into. Bella suddenly turns 3months and I get a little worried. Is it going to be that difficult for her mother to start her life again?  
Alice gets impatient and wants to know how much more baby stuff she can buy. She shifts trough time with weeks now and Bella still doesn't disappear.  
Bella suddenly sits on my lap, my face is full of pride while I have my hands carefully around her waist for support.  
Then she sits up all by herself and I (vision me) stare at her with wonder and pride again. Why is her mother missing this?  
Then she's a year old and she stands upright with her arms wrapped around my leg to make sure she doesn't fall.  
"A year and still nothing?" I wonder out loud. Alice nods. She goes with months now and when Bella is able to run she speeds her pass up to years. 2, 3,4,5….11 then she stops, her eyes open. With the image of Bella as an 11 year old girl still behind my eyelids I look at the one month old Bella in my arms. She looks at me expectantly. As if she waits for my judgment. Of course she can't really understand what is going on, but she might sense the tense atmosphere.  
"How does it come, she turns 11 over here?" I wonder out loud so everyone can hear what Alice has seen. I'm about to compliment Bella about what a pretty young lady she'll become -I just can't resist to do so- when Carlisle enters the room giving me an unexpected answer.  
"Rennee suffers from cancer!"

Honestly who was expecting the last line of my former chapter?**  
**Now what will Edward do? One of you pleaded to me to not have Bella adopted by someone else. But will I do as asked? One way to find out!


	6. What I want and what I should

**5)What I want and what I should.**

I can't believe my ears. Renee will die? And she knows?  
"But, she said…" I mean she has said I just have to keep an eye on Bella till she gets better right? That means she will get better.  
"I know Edward. She seems to think you are the right person to take care of Bella and she didn't want you to say no before you got a chance to find yourself liking or disliking Bella. She seemed also convinced that Bella likes you." I frown at that. Bella indeed likes me, trusts me even.  
It is something in the look in her eyes that makes me think so. I lock my eyes on hers and focus on her mind to see if Renee can possibly be right…  
I hear nothing.  
A baby's thoughts are never very noticeable so that explains why I haven't noticed I can't hear Bella's before. Usually when I focus on them I hear at least _something_.  
An impression of colors, faces and sounds. With intelligent kids I can even sort of feel connections with other people than their parents in the early stage Bella is in now.  
But nothing here, I thought she'd be one of the intelligent baby's thought. I just know by how she looks at me that she is smarter than other babies of her age.  
"What's wrong Edward?" Jasper asks when he feels my confusion.  
"I can't hear her," I say, still trying to hear what goes on in Bella's head.  
"How is that possible?" Rose asks. Emmett of course is laughing so loud that the pictures on the wall nearly fall. I glare at him.  
"Oh, come on! You need to give in this is hilarious! Of all people and vampires you know, a girl of one month keeps you out!" Emmett explains still laughing. I smile a little.  
"I'll take care of her–" I don't get any further since everyone in the room is cheering in delight.  
"Let me finish!" I say in a loud voice, nearly a shout. Everyone looks at me with a questioning look. Nobody can imagine what more there is to say.  
"I'll take care for her till we find someone else. I'm sure she has some other family members who can raise her the way she should be raised. In a human family that can ask her about her day when they share dinner whit her, a father that can kiss her wounds when she bleeds and a mother that can nurse them, people who'll pull her in a warm and soft embrace when she cries… I want what's best for her. And no matter how hard we'll try, we'll never be the warm human family she deserves. We'll be close, but not the best. I'll support her financially thought…" I trail off, focusing my attention too Bella's eyes, I would almost say she's pleading me to keep her with her eyes. But I know better.  
I don't really want to face the reactions of my family. But I still hear them all the same.  
Rose is angry whit me. She thinks the fact I was the one to save Bella and her mother asking me to take care of her means this is sort of a reward from above… ridiculous. She knows better than to think her prayers were heard.  
Esmé is torn. She knows I'm right But she wants a baby so badly. She tries to think about a way to make this work for all of us. It's indeed a cruel trick of fate to give her a piece of heaven only to throw her back at her misery so soon. She was happy with us but she still grieves for her lost child. She sees raising Bella a chance to finally get a step closer to the point where she will be free from missing the child she barely remembers.  
Emmett and Jazz are a little disappointed. They'd like a new sister and having a human around is good practice and (especially according to Emmett) can't be less than funny.  
Carlisle is understanding but also sad because of the missed chance to learn and because he won't mind at all to ad Bella to the family.  
Alice is disappointed and hopeful at the same time. Because the vision of Bella turning 11 with us is not gone yet.  
I waver. Alice will probably only see Bella with another family when that other family decides to accept her.  
But as far as I know the only family the Swans have is Renees mother and I want to leave Bella with a family. That means mom, dad and maybe a brother and/or a sister.  
Charlie has lots of friends here, all young fathers… maybe one of them…  
But I will ask them to accept some money as extra support from my side. I will make sure she's taken care of as good as possible. She should be able to get the best care and education possible… But what if she can only find that with me? What if Rose is right and this was a reward of destiny? Or a reminder, or a lesson?  
No! I only think that because I want it so much. Bella comes first! I should think of her in the first place.  
At that moment Bella reached out to my face a furrow between her beautiful eyes.  
I place my both hands at her sides under her arms to hold her up and look face to face at her.  
"What's wrong Bella?" I ask. Not expecting a response.  
Bella stretches her arms toward me and when I bring her closer she throws her arms around my neck in an comforting hug. Maybe she felt my discomfort, or maybe she felt the heavy atmosphere. Whatever the reason I'm happy she did what she did. It feels good and gives me strength.  
"I won't allow anything to harm you Bella. You'll become the happiest girl the world has ever seen," I promised. I would find a perfect family. But first I want to talk with Renee about this.


	7. A difficult job

**6)A new family**

"I think I should talk about this with Renee," I voice my thoughts.  
"Good idea! Maybe she can talk some sense into you!" Rose sneers.  
"Rosalie, please. I don't like this either but Edward has really only Bella's best interests at heart."  
Esmé defends me. A part of me feels guilty when I hear the disappointment in my mother's voice. I need them to understand I did not want them to be hurt.  
"I'm really sorry, but please try to understand, what if something went wrong? What if she fell and started to bleed? What if one of us would hug her just a little too hard? I would never forgive myself if she got hurt because of one of us. I don't want her life to be in constant danger." Everyone thought about what I said and eventually even Rosalie decides I'm right.  
At that exact moment I hear noises coming from Bella's stomach. She's hungry. I barely get the chance to even think about asking Esmé to make Bella some milk when Alice flies to the kitchen and a minute later she's back. I look at her with questioning eyes.  
"I saw she would want to eat soon so I had Esmé and Rose preparing some milk for her." She explains. "It stinks." She ads holding a hand for her nose while offering me the bottle. I want to hand Bella and her dinner over to Esmé but she shakes her head. "You should do it Edward. For now, you are her guardian after all. I and Rose will take care for her when you speak with Renee if you wish."  
I hesitate. Will I leave Bella here when I discuss the situation with Renee?  
"I'll wait with that till tomorrow," I start when I'm interrupted by a very inpatient Bella. Well I can't blame her. I've kept her waiting for her milk while holding the bottle in front of her nose.  
"Sorry sweetheart, here you go," I coo at her giving her her milk.  
"Well, ehm, like I said, I'll wait till tomorrow, Renee needs her rest too. And well… Bella needs to sleep tonight as well." I decided. I'm not delaying, I'm being thoughtful… okay maybe I am. But my arguments where descent.  
I look down to Bella who's eagerly drinking her milk. I'm already nervous for when I have to make her burp. It'll take a lot of concentration. Will I kill her? No I have to trust myself whit her. Otherwise I won't be able to keep her with me for one more minute. Let alone the 11 years Alice is envisions.  
Not that it'll come so far… a strange noise wakes me out of my thoughts. Oh, Bella has finished her milk. Here we go.  
I lay her against my shoulder looking to my mother for reassurance. She nods encouraging.  
I take a deep breath. It would be a lot essayer if my family wasn't watching my every move.  
Alice luckily understands me quickly ( It might have something to do whit a vision of me shouting about them staring at me like at a monkey in the zoo) and told the others to give me some space.  
They turned to their own business and I lifted my hand slowly and used just a tiny bit of my force to pat her back, immediately a small burp escapes her mouth and I take her in my both arms again. She yawns and rubs her eyes, well she tries. Have you ever seen baby's move? In the beginning they don't really do what they intent to do.  
"Time to sleep Bella?" I ask her. She answers me with another yawn. I smile at her and give her to Rosalie. "I don't know where her room is." I explain, but in fact I mainly want her to hate me a little less at the moment. She smiles.  
"In your room," she tells me, I already thought so. I gesture her to bring Bella to her bed anyhow.  
A few moments later I sit in my couch looking at Bella sleeping in her box.  
I smile as she starts to babble I wonder if she'll talk in her sleep when she gets older.  
I know she'll be a pretty child, she'll be very wanted when she becomes a teenager.  
I sigh, part of me hopes I don't find anyone to take care of her, but I know that's wrong. She needs a family… besides she can't have a normal youth whit me. I'd have to keep her away from public as long as she would accidentally let out anything about my family that could betray us. She will not be able to go to school till high school. No, a normal family is Bella's breathing gets uneven. Not in a 'I'm about to wake up' way but in a 'I can't breathe' way. I lift her out of her bed and her breath turns immediately back to normal. Probably a nightmare. I hold her a few more minutes and then lay her in her bed.  
But only after five more minutes her breath starts to hitch again. I caress her cheek and hum a soft tune to her. It's a song I've never heard before because I made it up myself only seconds back. It seems to help her and for that I'm glad. I can't expect a human to sing a whole night for her thought. Maybe I should play it and make a cd for her so they can play it whenever she wakes up.  
_But maybe that's not enough…_


	8. saying goodbye

**7)letting go**

**I'm so evil!**

The night passes by and Bella's dreams seem to continue more peacefully.  
That's good I don't dare to try and stop singing. She's not ready to get over the trauma of the events of tonight. She will not be willing to be left alone any time soon. When she's a little older she can be reasoned with and let go bit by bit. But for now… maybe I'll advice her new family to let her sleep in their bed for a while.

THE NEXT MORNING

Bella yawns and her eyes immediately travel trough the room. She's probably surprised to be in another room then hers.  
"Hello, my Bella. How was your night?" Bella's eyes shoot to me and she start to babble something as if answering my question. I laugh softly.  
"I'm happy to hear that… what? How my night was, very pleasant thank you." I'm just having a little fun, as is my family.  
"Brilliant!" Emmett exclaims in between laughter's. Bella hears the noises from downstairs and tries to get up to investigate.  
I pick her up and carry her downstairs. "That's my family Bella, they like to make fun of me. Isn't that the meanest you ever heard?" I ask. Bella tightens her grasp around me in reaction on the sadness in my voice, not realizing I'm only joking.  
"It's alright Bella. I love them no matter what," I declare.  
"Thanks Ed!" Alice screams from downstairs.  
"Bella's breakfast is ready!" Esmé adds. At that I quicken my steps. I would let her wait if the plan was to keep Bella forever. I mean it's not good for a human to be served at the least mention of hunger, boredom or sleep. I don't want Bella to become a spoiled brat.  
But we have little time with her so I let my family treat her like a princes.  
"Here Esmé, it's your turn." I say, determination evident in my voice so she won't argue with me.  
"Thanks Edward… Oh, I forgot how wonderful it was to have a baby in my arms." This broke my heart. How cruel of me to take this away from her… but I had to. There really is no other choice.  
"I, decided to bring Bella with me to Renee. I think she has separation anxiety due to the fire… she was alone and asleep when it started, she won't let go of her protector for long." Esmé nodded understanding. If Bella gets any attack like yesterday evening (which they all heard of course) I want to be close just in case Esmé isn't able to calm her down herself.  
"Do you want to come with me? That way you can still look after her… I just want to be close if you need me." Esmé nodded knowing all too well about my protective nature.  
"It's alright Edward. I know how you get when someone gives you any responsibility. You would never forgive yourself if something went wrong with her." I was grateful for Esmé's understanding nature. When Bella finishes her breakfast we get in my car. I let Esmé hold Bella, we both know it's not because I don't want to hold her.  
"Thank you." Esmé says. I just shrug.  
"I mean it." She presses.  
"Esmé please, it's just my way to make up for taking Bella away from the family." I confess.  
"I know, but you don't need to make up, it's just as hard for you as for all of us." I don't say anything in response. I just can't. Is it really just as hard for me? It should be. I lose nothing more or less than anyone else, maybe it should even be essayer for me then for Rose and Esmé… but it isn't.  
We arrive at the hospital in just a few more minutes. Somewhere during the night Carlisle had left for a nightshift and told me where to find Renee.  
I go to the bally altogether to make sure nobody will question if Carlisle really is able to keep his hospital business in the hospital.  
The receptionist is a girl. Just my luck. Or actually I might be lucky. No stupid long administration process.  
"Hello miss." I say with my most attractive voice and a crooked grin on my face. The girls mind immediately goes blank.  
"Hello, can… can I help you?" She stutters.  
"Well yes actually…" I pause a short moment at her thoughts.  
_Edward Cullen, towns hero, please let him ask me on a date!  
_The pause doesn't help much. "I want to know where Renee Swan is, I visit with her daughter." I finish pointing to my mother and Bella!  
The girl is about to scream 'yes I want to go out with you!' but realizes just in time what I said.  
"Yes!... eh…" she looks in her computer working as quick as possible to escape the embarrassing moment.  
"Room 103 second floor, hall on your left." She says and smiles indicating I should leave as fast as possible. I nod. "Thank you very much." And leave.  
_That was so embarrassing.  
_"Come here Bells. We're gonna visit your mommy!" I say while taking over Bella from my mother who looks at me pointedly, but I pretend I don't see. I hear the receptionist thinking something about me being cute with a baby.  
I remember I have heard something from some boy who thought a baby works as the ultimate babe magnet. It's true apparently. Girls like it when a boy shows fatherly instincts.  
We go to Renée's room in almost complete silence, Bella keeps babbling and trying to see everything, it has to be wonderful to be a child and see everything for the very first time. I knock on Renée's door and wait.  
"In," a week voice says. I open the door and Renee smiles when she sees her daughter, who still tries to see everything around her properly. When Bella sees her mother in the bed she makes happy noises and stretches her arms towards her mother. I walk over to her bed and Renee takes Bella eagerly from me.  
"Hello sweetheart, have you been nice for our savior?" Bella mumbles something and stretches her arms for a hug.  
"Thank you love. You always know when I need one don't you?" Renee says while hugging Bella.  
I wonder how to bring up the subject. Maybe I should let her have her moment with Bella.  
And then I see how Renee is looking at me. She knows I know about the cancer, and she knows I'm here to tell her I can't possibly take care for Bella.  
"Esmé? Why don't you take Bella to the hall. Then can Edward and I… discuss some stuff." Esmé looks at me, thought _'Good luck' _and left.  
"How long already?" I just blurt out the first thing on my mind.  
"2 weeks or so." I nod. This will be a very awkward conversation.  
"Did Charlie know?" Renee keeps quiet, that's enough of an answer to me.  
"When?" I leave the question open, there are so many answers she could give.  
When she had planned to tell him, before the fire that is, when she would… die.  
"I was going to tell Charlie after I knew sure there was nothing they could do and when I knew when I'd die… They give me 2 more months…" I look at her incredulously.  
"They said a year or 2 before the fire, but they often see a traumatic experience shorten the time. Losing Charlie has been very stressful and the smoke in my lungs wasn't the best help either. But I don't sound that sick huh?" I shake my head. She sounds quite healthy for someone that was due to die in 2 months.  
"I'm a fighter Edward and if I can't win a fight I lose with my head held high. Charlie was a fighter too, but you can't beat the elements, can you?" I nod. I'm not saying as much as I thought I would.  
"Bella's a fighter too, I can feel that. The doctors don't think the cancer is genetic but they are going to keep a close look at her. They might try to steal her away from your mother now for some investigations.  
And now you're going to tell me why you're here except from asking me what I've been keeping from you." Renee is a very unique person I have to give her that.  
"I… can't be her guardian Renee. We both know that. I haven't even finished highschool I can't offer her anything. I'm sure there are enough other people you can trust with her." She nods.  
"Sure, I think I would trust her to the Blacks or the Clearwathers. They are… where Charlie's best friends, they would do anything for Bella." I'm surprised.  
"Oh, I thought you would object." Renee smiled at me, at that moment a doctor asks Esmé if he can take Bella for a few investigations like Renee predicted.  
Esmé asked me in her mind if it was alright for me. I said yes, too fast and too low for Renee to hear.  
"I don't have to." Was the only answer Renee gave me.  
"Well I'll ask the Blacks if they're alright with it when they visit. Bye Edward" I look at her startled. Just as I'm about to leave a family spots my mother sitting in the hall.  
"Are we sure this is the right room?" the man asks his wife. He sounds scared and holds his one year old daughter tighter.  
"Sure why?" the women says, while wiping some drool from her other daughters face. The two where twin sisters.  
"Because, thát's a Cullen." He whispers.  
"Sweetheart, I know it's hard for you but behave." The women whispers.  
"Hello? Whit who have I the honnor?" my mother sais as if she hadn't heard every single word they said.  
"I'm Sarah Black and this is my husband Billy. Those two little droolers are our daughters Rachel and Rebecca. We're here to visit Charlie, Renée and Bella." My mother is silent for a couple of seconds I decide to jump in.  
"Mom, Renee says she'll ask… oh," I pause a short moment before I call over my shoulder:  
"eh, Renee there are some other visitors for you!"  
_As if he doesn't know who we are and why we are here. Wait did they give Charlie another room? Why that? _The Blacks clearly have no idea about what happened yesterday, but they do know what we are how?… Wait a minute? Black!  
This is not good.  
"Why don't you all come in?" Renee asks I gesture towards the others for them to follow me in.  
When we are all inside Esmé realizes she hasn't introduced herself yet.  
"I'm Esmé Cullen by the way, and this is my youngest son Edward. He's a volunteer as a firemen. He helped with the fire yesterday." Esmé beamed at me.  
"And saved my Bella of course." I look to my feet feeling as if I should be blushing right now and mumbled: "was nothing"  
"Don't be silly! I'm happy Bella will be alright. That makes one of us, if you weren't there we'd all be dead." Billy and Sarah looked confused. Renee looks like she only just realized what she had said.  
"Where's Charlie?" Billy asked.  
"He didn't make it. He was dead before Edward and his friends arrived," Renee says softly. Billy is totally shocked.  
"I'm so sorry Billy," Renee said, Sarah gave her husband a hug.  
"But what did you mean with that all of you would be dead without Edward? Did he save you to?"  
"We better leave." I say quickly, already heading for the door.  
"No, the doctor can bring Bella anny moment… then you can say goodbye if the Blacks say yes." This was way too fast for my liking.  
"Billy, Sarah, I have cancer, I won't live much longer and someone needs to take care of Bella. I asked Edward but he decided he's too young and that he will not be her guardian as long as there are other options. Would you?" Billy and Sarah look at each other and nod.  
"We'd love to take care of her Renee." Sarah's voice shakes with hidden tears. She's a strong women.  
Also Billy hides his sadness and pain.  
"Yes, Charlie would want us to make sure she's safe." He glances at me while saying that. There's a knock on the door.  
"In!" Renee is a little annoyed by the now very full room. I know it's Carlisle with Bella.  
"Hello… wow, that's a lot of people. I came to say that Bella is alright but she needs a checkup every year to make sure she hasn't cancer as well." He looks at the Blacks wondering if he had said too much.  
"That's great Carlisle." Renee says "I want you to meet the Blacks, good friends of Charlie they'll take Bella from here." I take Bella from Carlisle she looks at me with curious eyes.  
"Be nice for them okay?" I say as I hand her over to Sarah who gives her baby to Billy.  
"Hello Bella." She coos.  
"She can wake up with breathing problems during her nap… holding her or playing some music should help. I'll send you a cd with a song of which I'm sure she likes it. The fire has her scared." I say. Sarah smiles at me assuring and Billy is battling with himself. He sees I really care for Bella and that doesn't fit with his idea of monsters. I turn around and walk away a little too fast. I'm not going to change my mind!

**Don't hate me yet! Wait for the next chap until you decide this isn't a good story after all!**


	9. an unexpected twist

**8)An unexpected twist**

I take a deep breath. "It's for the better." I remind myself.  
"She has a nice family two sisters and parents that will love her. She is so much better off with the Blacks even with Billy being a werewolf, this is safer."  
Yes, from what I could hear from his thoughts I can tell he has transformed six months ago for the first time. It's alright, he has lots of control, he hasn't changed unwillingly for over five months.  
It's safe enough.  
I keep telling myself this over and over again until my mother finally joins me. She hasn't even fastened her seatbelt properly when I pull up and drive out of the parking lot.  
I shouldn't feel so empty, it was only 10 hours ago since I first held Bella, I shouldn't have any connection with her. But I have seen children do their magic on a lot of tuff men. They seem to be designed to charm everyone and make strong ties in a matter of minutes if you let them. Apparently I gave Bella the chance to make a bound with me strong enough to make me miss her for a while. But it will get better. Soon I'll be living my life as if she has never been part of it.  
Big lie I know. I will never forget her of course, and probably never stop wondering 'What if?'  
"I told the Blacks I would meet with them at the boundary line at 5 o'clock to give them Bella's stuff." Esmé tells me interrupting my thoughts. I nod.  
"I'll make a cd of the composition as soon as we're home." I say.  
_You alright?_ She thought. I nod again. She is not convinced and I can't blame her.  
"It's just much faster than I had thought." I confess.  
Esmé nods understanding. The rest of the ride we sit in complete silence. Part of me regrets my decision but most of me knows it's for the better like I told myself over 2000 times since I had entered the car.  
When I pull up at home I find Alice waiting for us in the garage with a distressed expression. I read her mind afraid something bad happened. WHAT?  
"How do you mean you can't see her anymore!?" I yell while getting out of the car.  
"I don't understand either. The one moment I saw her with us and then everything disappeared, I looked for your and Esmé's future and they were also gone as where Carlisle's for a moment. Just when I thought I was going crazy and decided to go and find you guys your future appeared again, you where in your car and royally pissed off I may add." She cocks an eyebrow to me as to ask for an explanation. I think for a few moments and realize what must've caused the lapse in Alice's sight. Werewolves. Billy Black had been in the same room with me, Esmé, Bella and Carlisle.  
It made sense because Alice had been able to see me as soon as I wasn't close to him anymore.  
"Bella, isn't coming home tonight." I say softly. Alice frowns not licking where this is going.  
"She left to the Quileute reservation with the Blacks. Billy Black has been a werewolf for six months now and he has himself under perfect control. That's all I want to say about it," I say as quick as I can so Alice has no chance to interrupt me. Alice can see she can't change my mind and that if she could it wouldn't be possible for us to get Bella back.  
What was done was done. I run inside to get behind my piano and see to my relief that the recording equipment is all set up ready to make the cd that will hopefully help Bella trough her nightmares.  
"Let's start with this. I want to write a letter to the Blacks with some… advice." I actually want to say 'wishes' but I thought that would sound just a little pathetic.  
Nobody not even Emmett dares to question my motives for the letter. The letter of course will come with a great deal of money that should make the Blacks able to give Bella the best tuition and care possible.  
I sit myself behind my piano, look to Jasper to let him know I'm ready and start to play. It has been a decade since the last time I played any song on it but it still sounds perfect, Esmé must've kept an eye on it in hopes I would regain my interest in music soon. I feel a bit guilty, I know how much it pleases Esmé when I play. I promise myself to play at least once a week from now on. Even if it doesn't feel right.  
The notes of Bella's lullaby flow through the house filling it with harmony and peace.  
_Is this how Bella's presence would've influenced our lives?_ I wonder.  
_It's beautiful, kind and peaceful_ Esmé muses to herself.  
Everyone seems to be momentarily enchanted by the effect of the song. I close my eyes and allow myself to travel with the song, too places that could hold its beauty, but many fail –my meadow is the only one that comes near –and then the song ends. Only now I realize that as beautiful as the song is, it's also sad. Sad with the knowledge that also this song has to come to an final end.  
I ban the morbid thoughts from my mind.  
"I'm out for a hunt," I say and take off trough the door.  
What in the world went wrong in my life? Where did I lose my mind? When did a tiny little human manage to make such a huge difference to a family of nearly indestructible, unchanging vampires? It just doesn't make any sense. I let out a frustrated growl and throw myself at a deer. When I have completely drained him I suddenly mentioned that he had almost the same eyes as Bella's. I shiver.  
I try to focus on tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be at school again. Girls will be staring and whispering about my last rescue mission. And boys will be wishing they where me.  
(It's true! Don't think I'm just being self-absorbed. I simply know what they're thinking. Don't judge me!)  
I sigh. It'll be just another day listening to stuff I didn't want to know. No matter how hard I try I can't completely block those voices out especially when their thoughts are about me. Why did I have to be cursed whit this gift?  
I stop at that thought because something caught my eye. It's an old abandoned one story house. I walk in and find myself in a what would be cozy living room. Well it certainly used to be. It had a fireplace and a few benches. I'd say I'm the first visitor in half a century or so except for insects, mice and birds. I also found a bedroom for two and something that was a small kitchen and a bathroom. Maybe I'll show this place to Esmé, she loves to take care of this kind of places. Maybe I could move in here for a while, that way I'll still be close to home (it's only a mile or two away from our current home) and yet alone in some way. I could block out the voices of my family but still hear them if they wanted me to.  
I decide to go back home, I have to if I want to write that letter to the Blacks.  
I run as fast as I can changing everything around me in a green blur.  
"I'm home!" I call out and then grab an envelope, pen, stationery a half million dollars out of one of the cabinets and place myself at the kitchen table

'_Dear family Black  
First of all, I want to thank you all for taking care of Bella. I'm certain she'll become a beautiful and strong women under your watching eyes. I'm sure you already noticed the cash in the envelope and I must say it's the best way I could imagine to satisfy my own desires to somehow make sure she's at her happiest. See it as tuition money, alimentation, whatever you prefer. Just use it for her wellbeing. I can (try to) imagine bringing up a one year old twin is hard enough as it is without the added worries over a one month old. I sincerely hope you can get help from friends but extra help never hurts (or so I thought). If it bothers you I'd suggest you let my mother know the help is not needed (But I insist you keep the money I already gave you for college you know) and then I won't bother you ever again. If not I'm happy to support Bella financial whenever needed.  
Thanks again.  
Sincerely Edward Cullen.  
_I look to the letter satisfied with what I wrote. I really hope they'll accept my offer. I write down my cellphone number with the words 'In case you need me' and seal the envelope.  
(To the disappointed ladies I have made the mistake leaving my number behind for anyone to see before and believe me: Never again!)  
After dropping it on the bag with Bella's stuff I go to my room to fill the rest of my day with music.  
I finnish an essay I had to do for English while listening to a cd of the Beatles, read a magazine or to with the tunes of Elvis and lay back with Michael Jackson.  
'_Shara Black told me they'd be happy to accept your offer.' _My mother informs me from downstairs.  
"Thanks," I answer. It's a relief to me actually. I was afraid Billy Black wouldn't want to know about money from a cold one no matter how many it is. But his opinion about my kind apparently didn't prevent him from understanding that the offer I made is welcome. Shara Black could have had a hand in that of course.  
I smile at that last thought. The saying is true: 'behind every great men stands a strong women'  
Emmett can have a big mouth but Rosalie always manages to make him keep it shut, while Jasper and I have a little bit more difficulty with that.  
I don't leave my room for the rest of the night. I don't really feel like socializing with my family tonight. I decide to tell Esmé about the house before leaving for school. Speaking of which I need to get ready unless I want to give Emmett an opportunity to tease me about how strange it is I'm too late while I'm the one who has nothing better to do all night… and right there I better stop. I really don't want to think about exactly what my brothers and sisters do during the night.  
I open my wardrobe and pick a t-shirt, a waistcoats and a pair of jeans that looked nice to me and would keep Alice content.  
I head downstairs and find Esmé reading a book. Now is as good as a moment as any I suppose.  
"Eh, mom?" I ask. Esmé looks up and smiles brightly.  
"I found a nice house not that far from here, but nobody has been there for over fifty years and it could use some love." I smile at her letting her know without words that I think she is the best person to give love when it's needed.  
"I'd love a new project actually…" she says.  
"But when I'm done, it'll be to no use. It'll be forgotten again." Here comes the hard part.  
"Well, actually, yesterday I realized again how none of you ever have real privacy. And it's not esay for me either. No matter how hard I try every night I'm an eavesdropper, a peeping tom either I want it or not." There it was out.  
"O sweatheart you know that it's not like that, we understand you can't help it. It's not your fault. You don't need to move away." I shake my head. I knew she'd react like that.  
"Mom, I know you don't mind, but I do. I won't be far however. It's a 2 minutes run at top," I promise her. She wants to argue further but I look at her in a way that tells her that my decision is made and that I will go live in that house with or without her help.  
"It'll be fine. I'll be here all the time just not during the nights," I tell her truthfully.  
"Whoa! Edde!" Emmetts booming voice calls from upstairs. The next moment he's downstairs with Rosalie a few steps behind.  
"A stag house?! That rocks! Finnaly a place to hang out with your friends without your big brother stealing all the attention!"  
"Indoor voices Emmett," Esmé reminds him.  
"That wasn't really what I had in mind but your right. It would be nice to have the boys over." I think to myself. After all, Carlisle had invited his colleagues over for dinner at more than one occasion.  
"Alright Edward I'll help you out with the house. But know that you're always welcome here when you need us," Esmé says while giving me a hug.  
"Edward! Why are you really leaving?" Alice's voice rings trough the living room.  
"As you probably already heard, I don't like to be a peeping tom all the time so I figured that I might as well change from room. Since all I can do after you all 'went to bed' is sitting at my room and trying very hard not to hear every single noise and thought from the other rooms."  
That and I'm sick of being the sad, lonely, vampire of the family. But I'm not going to tell them that.  
Alice doesn't believe me but I can't find it in me to care.  
"Everybody ready? We're leaving," I say while heading to the garage.  
I unlock my Volvo and shoot a glance to my Austin martin, tonight I'm going to make a little trip with her. It's been a long time since we were last out.  
I open the doors of the garage with the remote and drive us over the highway to the wet and little town of Forks.  
When I park my Volvo I'm well aware of the eyes on my car. After two years all eyes are still on us whenever we arrive. Suddenly one particular voice catches my attention and I smile a little.  
"Rose?" I ask to get her attention.  
"Yes?" she asks uninterested.  
"I think someone wants to speak with you. I thought it would be nice to warn you." I say quickly and then step out of the car smiling to the nervous boy that dares to ask Rosalie a question that might piss her of a little.  
"You're not here for me are you?" I ask. Anton Chenney's eyes widen as I speak to him. I don't speak often to other students and when I do, I get a reaction like this.  
"N-n-no, I-I" Anton stutters.  
"Don't worry, they don't bite." I promise while heading for class when I'm one step past him I ad:  
"Often" The boy shakes harder and I decide to really help him this time.  
"Rose, he only does this to impress a girl he likes so please don't be angry at him."  
I tell Rosalie in a voice to quiet for a human to hear.  
'_I'll do my best'_ she thinks.  
"Hello, Rosalie." The boy asks in a shaky voice, but without stutter this time.  
'_You can do this, just think about Britt and it'll be alright'_ he tells himself.  
"Hello… Anton right?" she asks in a very nice voice actually.  
"Yeah… I have to ask you something." He admits.  
"Oh, what?"  
"I was wondering… is… is your hair real or dyed?" He blurts suddenly.  
"Real. Why?" she asks with just a hint of irritation in her voice. I must say I'm impressed. Normally she would surely be angry with him. Her hair was her pride, after Emmett of course.  
"Britt wanted to know where you got the color cause she wants' it just like yours but I said hers is perfect. But she still wanted to know so I came to ask…" The poor boy doesn't know what to do.  
But he really liked Brithany Martins if he dared to actually voice the doubt about the purity of our beauty to us.  
Rosalie seems to agree with me.  
"Tell Britt that I think her hair goes wonderful with her eyes. There's no color that'd be able to bring her eyes out that way." And she honestly meant it. What happened to my world? A nice Rosalie? Since when did she care about human feelings? And then I saw it. She thought about Bella, she really cares about that little human and since she can't shower her with all the affection she could muster she figured she'd be nicer to other humans instead. They had been baby's once too. She realizes it'd be stupid to hate Bella –if they ever met again –later just because she's not a child anymore.  
I'm happy with that, and sad at the same time. I really miss Bella.  
At that moment I enter my first class.  
"There he is. Just ask him." A girls voice says. I look up knowing it's about me.  
Ah, Vanessa Eastwood and Gabriella Nightingale. The last one has a crush on me and the first one is a very nice and supportive friend. She doesn't tell her friend off about how I'm far out of her league like some of the other girls do (just out of jealousy), she is there for her and catches her whenever she comes across a disappointment.  
I smile and nod towards the girls in a polite manner and sit myself behind my desk and pretend to reread my essay.  
"Come on! What can happen?" Vanessa asks.  
"He can say no." Gabriella says matter-of-factly.  
"He'd never turn you down in a way that would hurt you. Haven't you noticed yet? He's a gentleman." Vanessa counters.  
"Yes, but he'll still have to say no. He's not interested in me."  
"He doesn't have to be interested in you, just in helping you out with math. You need it and he's good at it. Two birds one stone." Ah so that's what's going on.  
"Eh… Edward?" I look up pretending to be surprised.  
"Oh, hello Gabriella." I say pleasantly.  
"I heard about yesterday. My friend Vanessa lives next to the Swans, her dad called you and your friends." I smile and nod, telling her to go on.  
"She saw you run in and come back with Bella Swan. That's so brave of you." Her tone is thick with admiration. Gabriella likes me mostly because of the whole hero thing.  
"It's my job, and there was a child in danger." I reply.  
_Brave, handsome, smart and modest! He's a dream!  
_"Well, what I actually wanted to ask is I need some help with calculus and I thought you could help me out…" She's about to change her mind but I think I can give her one lesson. She indeed really needs it.  
"I see. Friday evening at the library? I think I can help you. The nice thing about math is once you see it you never get it wrong again." Gabriella is baffled that I simply agree.  
"Okay! That's great. Thanks!" I think I should be clear about my feelings right away.  
"I like to help people out Gabriella. I know we don't know each other but you should know that. You seem a nice girl, and a good friend." She catches how I press on the term friend and understands it.  
"Yeah, sure." It stings but that won't last long, I'm sure of it.  
"And?" I hear Vanessa ask.  
"He is only interested in one study session. He made it pretty clear he has no interest in dating."  
"Don't be sad. There are plenty fishes in the sea." I decide to let the girls alone at that point, it's none of my business.  
After a long and boring hour of English I head for calculus.  
When I pass the parking lot I notice a large group of girls standing together.  
"Oh, how cute!" one exclaims. I search for the minds at the center.  
Sarah Black? Whit Bella? I pick up my pace and work myself a way to the center and there is Bella looking very confused to all the unknown faces around her.  
"Bella?" I ask disbelieving. At the sound of my voice she looks up and then she starts to make happy sounds and reach toward me.  
"Oh, there you are!" Shara says relieved while handing Bella over to me, I take her without hesitation. Bella lets out a satisfied sigh and immediately falls asleep.  
"Aw!" All girls around exclaim.  
"So sweet!" a few add. I give Shara a confused look.  
"She wouldn't sleep. The song only calmed her a little but not enough to get the rest she needs. She needs you." She says. I nod and look at Bella.  
"So we can keep her?" Rosalie's voice asks from behind me.  
I turn around to see the rest of my family.  
"Yes, Bella will stay with us." I say. All of them smile broadly and start to chear.  
This is the beginning, of my new life.

**So what do you think? Love it, like it, hate it? Let me know and I'll try to give you another chap soon.**


	10. 13 years later

**9) 13 years later**

I look through the window of my office waiting for my newest employee to enter through the doors. When I hear the sound of his approaching footsteps I smile a little before turning my face in a mask of indifference. I always enjoyed this. The reactions where most of the time pretty much worth missing some of the time I can spend with Bella.  
I lower myself in my chair, the back of it facing the doors. He knocks on the doors.  
"In!" I call, my voice had only a hint of treat in it.  
_'Oh god. I was hoping they were only joking. Trying to scare the new guy and stuff. I know I did that kind of stuff with my colleagues. And here I was, overjoyed that I found a job. Happy to shake the hand of the man that wanted to accept a man of my age!'_ He didn't consider for a moment that I could be in on the joke. Oh well. He'll understand soon enough.  
He swallowed loud and opened the door. "You called for me mr. Cullen?"  
He sounds dead scarred! Well he has a good reason but he is not exactly terrified of a vampire. Only of the big bad boss.  
I turn my chair around, in the dramatic way you often see on tv. My hands are folded and I let my chin rest on them.  
"Mr. Jones. I was expecting you." I say in a tone that send shivers down his spine. I decide to end his suffering. I start to smile and allow the fake crows eyes to soften my expression instead of making my glare more threatening. His mind fills with confusion. And I start to laugh.  
"I'm sorry sir. This is just a joke I and a couple of my first employees made up and now it's become tradition to make the 'freshmen' afraid of me and then choose one of our new workers and make him spread the news about how I really am." I explain.  
The 50 year old man looks at me astonished and then starts to laugh himself.  
I stand up and walk around the desk to shake his hand and offer him a chair. The man is quick to like me. That makes me happy.  
"Excuse me if I'm being rude but I just wonder. Do you have a family Mr Jones?" I ask. If I'm being perfectly honest I ask him this half because I really want to know and half because I want to talk about my own beautiful, smart and precious daughter.  
"Eh, I have a son and he and his wife are looking forward to their second child. They already gave my wife and me a wonderful grandson." It was clear he loved his son and grandson dearly.  
"How old is your grandson?" I ask.  
"2 sir. But he's very quick already. Thanks for accepting me and my friends in your company sir. We've all been searching for work for months before we applied here." I smile. That was exactly why I did all this. To help others. And most of all, to help my Bella.  
I stood up and walked to the window.  
"Have a look at this Jones." I instruct him. Jones walks over to the window and looks out at the forest that's right next to my company.  
"This is what we protect, what we care for in this company. This is the better world all your colleagues want for their families. This is what I want for my daughter." Jones looks at me curious.  
"Do you have a daughter?" He asks surprised. I pick the picture of my Bella of my desk. It's token last week. She's smiling shyly in the camera wearing her new dress. She's so beautiful.  
"A pretty girl… but I must say she doesn't look much like her father." He admitted.  
"She looks much like both of her birthparents actually." I answer. He clearly hadn't seen that one coming.

"I'm so sorry. I just assumed…" he started.  
"The same most would. I worked as a firemen when I was 16. Halfway my sophomore year there was a fire the house of chief Swan. Bella," I point to the picture. "Was one month old back then. I could save her, but her father was burned and her mother died to cancer two months later. Bella wouldn't sleep unless I was near so there was no other choice then adopt her and take care of her. I took homeschool and graduated high school 2 years later. Bella was finally able to sleep without me being right next to her every minute so she got her own bed. I got a college degree in business and started this company. Dreaming of a world that could do without nuclear energy, that could be clean and safe place for my little girl… and as you know I've been rather successful." Jones nods, impressed by my story. I look at my watch.  
"It's time to go to work Jones. It was nice to meet you." I tell him. He nods.  
"It was nice to meet you too." And he left, eager for work. Motivated as was my intension.  
I waited a minute and then left myself. I can run my company at home if I want and that's definitely a plus. An half hour later I parked at home.  
"Dad is home!" I hear Bella call out. She is in Alice's room and can see my arrival through the window. "Aunt Alice, can I please go?" Trough Alice's eyes I see Bella's pleading look. Alice is trying something different with Bella's hair, again. No wonder Bella has been trying to get away for the last hour. Alice knows how much Bella hates the make-overs, she only tolerates them because she doesn't want Alice to feel bad. Looks like Alice has used the guilt card, this also not for the first time.  
"Alright then," Alice allows her. Bella jumps up and hurries downstairs where I just open the door.  
I shake my head amused. Bella should know better.  
And indeed 3 steps before the end of the stairs she trips and I'm there to catch her as always.  
"Bella dear, you really need to be careful." I tell her with my best strict father face.  
"Sorry dad." Bella blushes and then suddenly her face brightens up.  
"Guess what dad? Jake and the girls are coming over tonight! Can we go home so I can surprise them with dinner?" Bella is always exited when her Quileute friends come over. Especially Jacob.  
They have so many beautiful memories together. Which reminds me of Bella's birthday present. I should work on that while Bella enjoys her night with her friends.  
"Sure Bella. Off we go."


	11. visitors

**10)Visitors**

I run with Bella through the woods. You heard me right I _run_.  
Bella knows to certain extent about the secret. She knows about the speed, skin, strength, heightened senses and of course the never aging or eating thing. Actually the only reason she isn't aware of the fact that she lives with monsters is that at the age of four or so Emmett got her obsessed with super heroes and that's how she has always thought about us.  
So that is why I could just run with her to our cottage without her freaking out.  
In no more than two minutes I skid to a stop at the front door and let her jump of my back. She is so used to the running by now that stepping of my back was like stepping out of a car to her. She has never been bothered by it, since this was the way I transported her from the cottage to the house and back since the cottage was finished. Which was only two weeks after Bella moved in with us.  
So by the time that she was able to stay awake during the run and care about the speed, she was too used to it. Anny other human might, under the same circumstances, start to consider this normal. But my Bella is a smart girl and she knows very well it's not normal. I'll tell you all about this later, but for now let's proceed the events of tonight shall we?  
I take a second to decide in which language I want her to tell me about her day today. It's sort of an evening ritual for us. It helps her to practice her French and Spanish.  
"Y cariño. ¿Que tal te fue hoy?" I finally ask in Spanish, while getting inside and helping Bella prepare for tonight's diner. "Gran papá!" she exclaims. This is followed with a long story about the new recipes she had tried out and wants to make tonight. About how she helped Esmé to plan the redecoration of the living room. She's a little bit ashamed when she admits that aunt Rose has yet to manage awakening any interest for cars in her. I reassure her that it's alright if she isn't interested in it. She would impress any car fan with her knowledge on the subject regardless. Finally we settle on the makeover Alice gave her.  
"Ver lo que ha hecho tía Alice con mi pelo." She said turning around to give me a good look on Alice's latest masterpiece. Alice had made a small braid on either side of her head and woven it into her hair so they would stay in place. The two beads joined each other at the back of her head. The main braid had a new strand added to it to keep it in place. You'll wonder what has taken Alice so long to do this. Well it where the delicate crystal breads in her braids that hadn't allowed her to rush it. It looks beautiful, as if there are stars in her hair. Beautiful but not very practical.  
"Looks good, but I don't think the braids should be included on your first school day… maybe on your first dance though." I say in English, making it clear to her that the exercise is over.  
I frown lightly when I think about some hormonal teenage boy holding my daughter at a dance. He better not take advantage of her or he was dead.  
I smile brightly at Bella when she looks at me. She does that to me. No matter what mood I'm in, one look at Bella and I'm smiling like a fool.  
"You know I don't dance dad." She tells me blushing. Bella does dance, with me.  
"Nonsense we danced yesterday. Don't you remember?" I ask.  
"Yeah! But with you my feet don't touch the ground. When they do, I fall or step on someone's toes." She points out. I do tend to lift her on my feet when we dance that's true. But I'm sure that if she ever overcomes her insecurities she'll be the best dancer the world has ever seen. I let the discussion go however. My Bella is way too stubborn to argue with about these kind of things. That is when I hear the Blacks approaching.  
"Let's prepare the table, I think your friends will be here soon." I tell her exited. Bella nods and reaches for the plates in the cupboard and hands them over to me. She knows I won't join for dinner, because of my special diet. She cooked for me once, and I liked it… again I'll tell you about that later.  
I sigh sadly when I realize how big my little girl has become.  
She'll go to high school at the end of the summer and from that moment on, I'll have no choice but to admit that Bella is too old to be my daughter.  
A ring pulls me back to reality. Dinner is ready. Bella runs over to the oven to retrieve the potatoes and checks on the stew.  
"Everything is ready!" She declares proudly. I walk over to her and take the pan from the fire while turning it off. We set everything on the table, overlook our work and give each other a high five.  
And as on cue, that is when Jacob knocks on the door.  
"It's open!" Bella calls out.  
"Hello Bell! Mr Cullen," Jacob says while coming in. _That's weird, Bella's dad usually gets rid of that stupid make up as soon as he can. Why is he still wearing it?_  
The Black children are aware of my true nature, but Jacob nor his sisters ever call me a cold one when Bella is around. They know Bella gets mad whenever anyone ever begins to suggest something bad about me, my siblings or my parents. That and I've been some sort of an uncle for them as long as I have been a father for my Bella. The girls realized what was going on before Bella learned to talk and I had them making me a pinky promise to never tell Bella about 'the cold ones'. Jake followed their lead.  
But his thoughts do bring the otherwise annoying make-up to my attention. Why haven't I taken it off? The answer comes to me when I study the image of me and Bella in Jacobs head. In this image I look old enough to be Bella's actual father. I liked that image more than the one that would make me look like her brother or something.  
I look up to look at Billy. The poor man has lost his soul mate years ago. Even my father couldn't save her after the accident. Billy's only reason to continue to exist are his children and the fact that he trusts them to my care when he needs to work late or has to meet with his pack means a lot to me.  
"How are you doing Billy?" I ask. I'm well aware that today exactly 10 years ago he last saw his wife alive. This is always a hard day to him.  
"I'm alright Edward thank you." He gives me a small smile and turns to his children.  
"Girls take care. Jacob watch your sisters." He tells them. Normally the girls would've protested, but they are as well aware of the date. Jacob squares his shoulders and nods to his father.  
Jacob is a good kid. He has good manners and has a lot of respect for his father. He was also very close to Bella. Billy and I often joked about their friendship and to be honest we embarrassed him in front of her a lot. And Bella always stood up for him. It was so cute.  
_But he better not lay a hand on her._ I inhaled deeply. This happens a lot lately. I get possessive and my thoughts take a dark turn. Again the not aging thing. Partly. There are more reasons some are clear to me, like my father instinct and Bella's fragility that awakens the protective side in me. But there is something more and I don't know what.  
"I won't be home until after midnight. So I'll pick you up in the morning. If that is alright with you?" He looks at me and I nod my head. Ever since he saw me kissing a wound on her knee better without attacking her he believed that I could be save around humans.  
Yeah that's another new thing in my life. My self-control is almost as good as Carlisle's.  
"Go ahead Billy. You don't want to be late." I say. He nods and leaves.  
"Come on kids don't led the food get cold. I'll join you kids for a movie later but I need to finish some work." I smile and kiss Bella's forehead. I inhale her sent and appreciate how well it mixes with the scent of her strawberry shampoo.  
"Be a good hostess for your friends young lady." I whisper in her ear.  
She looks up, her eyes lighting up with those sparks that warms my heart.  
"I will dad." I squeeze her shoulder gently and leave the room. Time to finish my daughters 14th birthday present.

**Hello sweethearts! I hope you enjoyed this chapter cause I know I did. Leave me some love and daddyward will come to babysit you!**


	12. Memories

AN: First of all I'm so sorry about how long it took me to write again. No excuses, I'm just a lazzy ass.  
Second I realized I haven't given anny translations in last chapter so here they are:

"Y cariño. ¿Que tal te fue hoy?"= "And honney. How was your day?"  
"Gran papá!"="Great dad"  
"Ver lo que ha hecho tía Alice con mi pelo."="Look at what aunt Alice did with my hair."

And now: let the storry continiue

last time:

_"Be a good hostess for your friends young lady." I whisper in her ear.  
She looks up, her eyes lighting up with those sparks that warm my heart.  
"I will dad." I squeeze her shoulder gently and leave the room. Time to finish my daughters 14th birthday present._

**memories  
**I open the document on my laptop and the photo albums Alice and I had put together.  
Bella loves to read, mainly classics, but I thought it would be nice if she had a book nobody else would have.  
A book that would tell the storry of her life.  
I took some classes over the year about computer software and learned myself how to write my own programs. The program I developed would make it possible for her to read this book in a verry special way. The only thing I had to do now was place the right pictures at the right spots and transfer the storry to her new I-pad... Alright I couldn't ressist buying her something as well. I'm a father, don't judge me.  
I checked the first chapter titled 'checs'. Bella would love this. It was written like a fairytale. It was about a little curious girl who discovered checs at a verry young age. She was the most loved player in the land, not because she was good (which she was, considdering her age) but because she was all about fair play. She wouldn't accept victorry if she felt it was given her by her opponent.  
It was a true storry.  
I brouwsed trough the pictures selecting out the ones that fitted best in the storry.  
I continiued with the next chapter called 'learning'. This chapter was about all her 'firsts': First steps, words, games, name it and it was described.  
My personal favorite was her first word. I came home from a huntingtrip. Bella had been watching something educative on tv and when I came in she looked at me, like always. She had smiled, like always. Streched her arms towards me, like always. And right when I wanted to walk over to her so I could give her my usual hug in greating she schouted loud and clear: "daddy!"  
I was shocked to say the least. I had seen her making strange paterns whit her mouth for several days but I had never expected her to be practising her first word. I was so proud. I lifted her and told her that I was indeed her daddy, and what a smart and beauthyfull girl she was. I had trown her in the air and chanted her name. She gigled and screamed 'daddy' again and again. Then when I was done celebrating she decided to shock me again.  
"Bee Low Daddy" After that I was sure vampires could cry. There was no way I wasn't crying ath that verry moment. I'm still gratefull that Bella understood that the look on my face was one of happiness because after that she told everyone in the family she loved them. Not all at once. Carlisle was second on her list. He was doing a medical check up. When he told her he was done she looked him straight in the eye.  
"Bee Low Car" she said pointing at him. The smile that apeared on his face didn't waver a second the whole next week.  
Next where Esmé and Alice. They where learning her saying her whole name. I was sitting on the bench watching them amused. Alice was just about to demand me to help when Bella decided to speak.  
"No Isa...bella. Bella!" She seemed to like her nickname much better. Esmé told her how good it was that she could say that alreaddy and then it happend.  
"Bella Love Emee, Bella love Auw Allie" She was so shy about saying that. She said it as if it was a secret that must be treasured. I congragulated my smart daughter, since Alice and Esmé weren't able to even think straight.  
Since she had told me she loved me the first time I heard 'low Daddy' every night.  
Rosalie was a little bit dissapointed that Bella hadn't said 'Love Rose' yet.  
Emmett however didn't care, he was delighted with Bella's nickname for him. Since she saw a video about different anymals she caled Emmett 'Beaw' and he couldn't shut up about it for the whole next month! In his head at least. Thanks to Rosalie he stopped bragging about it verbally after a day.  
But Bella does love Rose and Emmett. She just didn't find a moment she felt fit to say it until a day after she told Esmé and Alice.  
Rose was singing softly while brushing Bella's hair. Bella was triyng to sing along.  
When Rosalie was done she lifted Bella up to bring her to me. I took her in my arms and asked: 'what do we say to aunt Rose?' I had been trying to learn her to always say pleas and thank you when she wanted or got something. Bella smiled at Rosalie stretched her arms out and I handed her back to Rose so she could hug her. "Thanks auw Wose... Love you." I can't even begin to describe how Rose thoughts took a turn after that. I haven't heard one bitter thought from her since that day.  
Emmett wasn't really bothered by the fact that Bella hadn't told him she loved him yet. She had given him a nickname and that was enough for him. But that didn't mean he didn't jump from joy when she told him she loved him as well a couple of hours after she told Rose. It had been bedtime and I made her say good night to everyone. When it was Emmetts turn he hugged her and said: "Night little Bee" Bella gigled tiredly.  
"Night. Bee love Emmy beaw." The look on his face was priceles. I had quickly taken Bella from him and hurried to the cottage in hopes to avoid his outburst. Let me tell you no distance protects you from an overjoyed Emmett.  
I smile as I brouse trough the other chapters and transfere it to the I-pad. The program automaticly works it's magic on documents with a spessific word in the name. I choose this code to be 'Bella'.  
I turn of my computer and her I-pad and go to join my daughter and her friends.

I'm gonna try to update this chapter later but I wanted to give you guys something now. It's exam period now and I shouldn't spend to much time here. But I'll try! Promise!


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